Half the Man He Used to Be
by LadyLefaye
Summary: Orihime tries to cheer Ishida up while he's in the hospital. Set during episode 71 of the anime.


**A/N: ** This fic was written for a request at the Fic on Demand LJ community for an Ishida/Inoue fic that wasn't mind-numbingly sweet.

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Ishida stared sullenly up at the ceiling of the hospital room. He had put on a brave face while his friends were there, but now that he was alone, he couldn't help but think about his crippled state. True, to any normal human being, he might seem only mildly hurt, but it was not his physical body that had sustained the crippling blow. It was his spirit power. He had lost all his abilities, and now he was nothing more than a liability to his friends…something weak that had to be protected.

The words of the Bounto that had hospitalized him echoed through his head:

_It is only natural to attack the weakest first…_

He felt so hollow. He was a Quincy in name only now…the shell of a Quincy, to be more accurate. Everything that had made him strong had fled him now, and he was having trouble coming to terms with just how useless he was to his friends because of his weakened condition.

He very likely would have continued his depressing thoughts until sleep claimed him, but he was snapped out of his melancholy by the sound of a curtain being pulled aside.

"I'm sorry, Ishida-kun," said Orihime. "I know I was just here earlier and that you probably need your rest, but I suddenly felt so sad at the idea of you being here all alone, so I decided to come back and see if you wanted some company. I even brought you some of my yummy rice custard balls that I made today."

"That's very kind of you to worry so much about someone as unimportant as me, Inoue-san," Ishida replied morosely.

"Ishida-kun, you shouldn't say such things!" Orihime exclaimed, pressing his head to her chest and giving him a fierce hug.

"Just because you've lost your ability to fight, doesn't mean you aren't important. You are clever and smart and much better than Ichigo at coming up with strategies…but please don't tell him I said so…I don't want him to get mad at me. Anyway, I don't think you're unimportant at all!" she said, finally releasing him from her grip.

For a moment, she just stared deeply into his eyes, and then, as if it took all of her bravery to do it, she leaned forward once more and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

Ishida felt that the fates were being particularly cruel to him, to present him with such an opportunity when it was impossible for him to take it. It would have been easy to continue resting his head in her heavenly bosom, or better yet, to turn his head and kiss her properly, as he'd been longing to do for weeks now, but instead he had to let her pull away.

"That's very kind of you, Inoue-san," Ishida said with a sad smile as his fingers ghosted across the spot on his cheek where she had kissed him. "But I think you'd best be going now. I really should get some more rest."

"Oh, of course!" she said, her voice suddenly too cheery and her eyes bright with unshed tears. "Here, I'll leave the rice balls for you in case you get hungry later."

Ishida tried not to wince as he saw the sadness in her eyes. He couldn't even count how many times he'd wished for something more to happen between them. They'd grown very close while in Soul Society, and even though their lives were in danger almost the entire time, he'd felt an odd sort of happiness at being able to put his life on the line to protect her. And now the perfect opportunity to take things to the next level had landed right in his lap, and he had to let it slip away.

He was a different man now, you see.

If they got together now, she would be the one constantly putting her life on the line. It didn't matter so much to him that it was a woman protecting him. His love of sewing should have been proof enough that he was secure in his masculinity. But he couldn't stand the idea of putting her in danger. If he let this budding love blossom between them, she would take unnecessary risks to keep him safe. That was the nature of love…it made you try to do the impossible. But he'd never be able to live with himself if she got hurt, or worse yet…killed, trying to save him when he was too weak to save himself. It was one thing for two comrades to watch each other's back…it was entirely another to be the person holding everyone back.

However, he was not sorry that she had come to see him. She had caused hope to fill his heart where there had been nothing but resigned sadness moments before. Suddenly, he felt motivated to do the impossible himself. True, he was broken and weak…he felt like half a man without his abilities…but now he was no longer content to merely adjust to a new way of living. He would reclaim his abilities, no matter what it took. There had to be a way, and he would find it. He would become a man worthy of her love once more.

He just hoped that Orihime would be willing to wait for him until he was whole again.


End file.
